3 posts tagged “dreams”

odd.

i had a dream last night about tornadoes...like a bunch of them. this definition is so oddly accurate:

"To see several tornadoes in your dream, represent people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship."

no one's prone to violent outbursts or a volatile relationship. but matt's been having emotional difficulties lately, or more accurately, he's told me about the depression he's had. we had a long, upsetting talk about it friday night. he's decided to see someone about it. it was kind of a big decision for him. he always refused seeing a doctor because he didn't want to be a "medicated zombie," but it's gotten to a point where he's tired of being sad and he doesn't think it's fair to me.

i never really knew it was as bad as it was. he never really talked to me about it until friday night. i didn't really push the issue to get further explanation, but he said that i saved his life...that he doesn't know what would have happened to him had we not re-connected (i assume his depression was at a tragic and hopeless level. i knew he drank a lot then and didn't have respect for himself or really anyone else but i guess i didn't understand the severity). he feels that he doesn't necessarily show me the gratitude that he should for this, and that because i've dated losers in the past, i've lowered my standards and that he's just been meeting those standards instead of exceeding them and that i deserve someone who exceeds them. every once and a while he'd say something about being sad, but i would always tell him that he wasn't and that he was just used to thinking that he was sad and listening to leonard cohen and morissey wasn't helping. i made it into a joke. he never sounded serious until friday and he laid next to me in bed just sobbing...telling me about it. i felt like a total asshole. 

i had no intention of posting about this seeing as though it nearly crosses a personal boundary in posting about someone who has no say in what i post, but in addition to it being something that's been weighing heavily on me the last few days, i also couldn't ignore the meaning of this dream and the direct correlation it had to my life. 

i had this really bizarre dream about a decapitated animal...not sure if it was a really large hamster or a small guinea pig. i don't remember dreams very well, but i remember trying to take it to a vet and being really upset that he couldn't put the head back on. at the end of the dream i had a new hamster/guinea pig that i loved and i remember kissing it at the end of the dream, not in a romantic way, but in an "i love my animal" sort of way. i rarely remember dreams, so the fact that i vaguely remember this one and the fact that it makes absolutely no sense intrigued me...

the definitions i've found on the internet for dreaming about a decapitated animal are:

this is from a website hosted by an australian clairvoyant - this dream suggests that the dreamer is losing control. in a decapitation there is a dramatic and violent separation of the head from the body. under normal circumstances the mind controls and directs the body. this dream suggests that the dreamer may be under the control of his bodily drives and may be separated from rational thoughts and feelings. disassociation may be occurring in regard to some behavior or issue in life. however, this dream may have other meanings. this includes excessive concern about punishment and indicates that there may be severe pressure and anxiety in the dreamer's life.

[this makes a little sense, the only thing is that i don't remember whether or not i witnessed or even participated (eek!) in the decapitation. i can both understand and relate to the meaning of it being a separation from mind and body, i haven't been keeping up with my yoga as much and i've been going through a little stress as it relates to my future - do i follow what my heart tells me to do, or my brain? there's certainly a disconnect in that area of my life. i wonder if it matters if i was dreaming of an animal as oppose to a human?]

this is from a website called thecuriousdreamer - they didn't have a listing for decapitated animal or headless animal, but they provided them separately...animal - the animal represents the primary characteristic of that animal, according to the dreamer. headless - lacking humanity, identity or sense of self; anonymity; the idea of a senseless or thoughtless action.

[SO - here's what i gather from this last search...the primary characteristic of a guinea pig or hamster (we'll say guinea pig for sake of argument) is that they are soft, timid, cuddly...if you pair those characteristics with a lack of identity and make an effort to relate them to my life - i guess you come up with someone (may be me, may not be) who's generally soft and timid, having a lack of identity and sense of self. if we use that description, it very much describes me. the fact that there was a new guinea pig (including a head) at the end of the dream may mean that in the end, i'll figure it all out...who i am, what i want to do with my life, etc. i just wish that would come sooner rather than later.]

i'll start with the odd dream i had last night...the past week has been filled with bouts of insomnia. i go through this sometimes and i take an over the counter sleep aid to combat this problem which sometimes leads to bizarre dreams (it should be noted that i rarely remember dreams otherwise).

all that i remember from last night's dream was that i was in a house i haven't lived in for nearly 10 years and i was telling my mom that i had decided to get rid of my car. i'm not sure if i sold it or gave it away or what the deal was exactly but i had told her that there were things that were starting to go wrong with it and it was time for it to go. there was, however, no mention of a new car that i can recall.

i happened to stumble across this dream dictionary online and i thought i'd see if there was any meaning to this. the only pertinent meaning i could find was about a car. the explanation of dreaming about a car is - "motion, movement away from one thing and towards another." i couldn't find any meaning in being in an old house.

oddly enough, my mom and i had lunch together on saturday and we were talking about how i want to get out of working in the office, get certified to be a yoga teacher and open my own studio. movement out of the office and towards the yoga studio? i can't help but wonder if my dream was telling me that this is the right decision to make...

or is it a side effect of the store brand sleep aid?