2 posts tagged “tornadoes”

odd.

i had a dream last night about tornadoes...like a bunch of them. this definition is so oddly accurate:

"To see several tornadoes in your dream, represent people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship."

no one's prone to violent outbursts or a volatile relationship. but matt's been having emotional difficulties lately, or more accurately, he's told me about the depression he's had. we had a long, upsetting talk about it friday night. he's decided to see someone about it. it was kind of a big decision for him. he always refused seeing a doctor because he didn't want to be a "medicated zombie," but it's gotten to a point where he's tired of being sad and he doesn't think it's fair to me.

i never really knew it was as bad as it was. he never really talked to me about it until friday night. i didn't really push the issue to get further explanation, but he said that i saved his life...that he doesn't know what would have happened to him had we not re-connected (i assume his depression was at a tragic and hopeless level. i knew he drank a lot then and didn't have respect for himself or really anyone else but i guess i didn't understand the severity). he feels that he doesn't necessarily show me the gratitude that he should for this, and that because i've dated losers in the past, i've lowered my standards and that he's just been meeting those standards instead of exceeding them and that i deserve someone who exceeds them. every once and a while he'd say something about being sad, but i would always tell him that he wasn't and that he was just used to thinking that he was sad and listening to leonard cohen and morissey wasn't helping. i made it into a joke. he never sounded serious until friday and he laid next to me in bed just sobbing...telling me about it. i felt like a total asshole. 

i had no intention of posting about this seeing as though it nearly crosses a personal boundary in posting about someone who has no say in what i post, but in addition to it being something that's been weighing heavily on me the last few days, i also couldn't ignore the meaning of this dream and the direct correlation it had to my life. 

we've had some pretty intense weather here lately...friday there was a tornado warning and same with saturday. there has never been consecutive tornado warnings in milwaukee county, at least not that the weatherman was aware of. west of us, near madison and just south of madison, there have been tornados that have torn roofs off of people's houses and damaged a ton of property, and we've had floods that have taken houses down that are near rivers and lakes that have flooded over and damaged tons of business and homes. some roads and freeways have been closed because of standing water. luckily, being near lake michigan, we're at a little higher elevation than people west of us, so we haven't seen any of that, but the southeastern portion of wisconsin has been repeatedly beaten down over the last four days or so.

we occassionally get tornadoes and storms in wisconsin this time of year, but not like this. this isn't kansas, toto. 

so...how does this relate to yoga? i had the house to myself sunday afternoon...i put in my piano yoga cd, lit some nag champa and started a really relaxing restorative sequence that i had in an old yoga journal. in the middle of my practice, the whole apartment turned dark and the wind started whipping around. the rain pelted the tin awning. another band of severe thunderstorms were here. i was hoping it wasn't going to distract my practice, when in reality, i think it made me more present and more aware that i was simply a small part of the whole. it made me aware that life is fragile and i think that sometimes people, particularly people in my age group, think that they are invincable and it was a good reminder of how mortal we really are.

sidenotes:

- i wanted to run out in the rain so bad this weekend. just stand outside and let it hit my face and my shoulders. i wanted it to wash away the funk i've been in lately. however, with the amount of lightening and the tornado sirens, i thought it might be a bad idea...although undeniably fun.

- does anyone else find it bizarre that the news is obsessing over the "fist bump" between barack and michelle obama? seriously, guys. stop making news where there isn't any. they're just hip older people. let it go.